Eastern Oklahoma Catholic July/August 2012 : Page 22
yourlife Q I love caring for my parenting journey special-needs child, but I am feeling a little burned out of caring for a child with special needs. Al-low yourself time to grieve over the loss of those dreams. The satisfactions and joys of parenting will still be yours to savor, but your journey will be different than expected. Take care of yourself, too. Par-enting can be physically and emotionally draining. When a child needs special care then the work is intensified – it is natural that you are feeling burned out. What can you do to improve your sleep patterns? Sleep deprivation makes everyday tasks more difficult. Plan simple but healthy meals and buy nutritious snacks. Schedule ways to nurture yourself. Find an exercise DVD that you enjoy and carve out time to get moving! Or buy a foot soaker and fragrant salts, put on your favorite songs and enjoy. Talk to your husband about times when he can a We have a special-needs child and I stay home to take care of him. I love him dearly and wouldn’t trade him for anything, but I am get-ting burned out. I feel as if I have no respite and no end in sight. Sometimes motherhood seems overwhelming. What can I do to keep going day after day? When my brother, Tim, was seriously injured, my mom’s life changed dramatically. For example, she had to clear her schedule for an entire day when he was summoned for jury duty. Sometimes the parenting journey isn’t what we anticipate. It is OK to grieve over your lost dreams. When you got married, you prob-ably imagined what the future would hold. It is not likely that you expected the challenges take over so that you can visit friends. Plan special time with him, too! Stay Connected! The National Family Caregivers Association (http://www. thefamilycaregiver.org/) initiated an online program to connect caregivers. NFCA provides resources and suggestions. One idea, for example, is “When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things that they can do.” Is a neighbor will-ing to come over twice a week so that you can walk around the neighborhood for 15 minutes? Perhaps a friend can find useful community resources? Make a list of the tasks that are challenging and brainstorm how others might help. Share your ideas with a member of your parish staff and see if there is a way that your faith community can be supportive, too. Search for a support group so that you can share your experiences with other parents. Pray and open yourself to God’s love, especially when you feel overwhelmed. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; per-plexed, but not in despair.” T. Gennara (2 Cor 4:8) Dr. Cathleen McGreal is a psychology professor and certified spiritual director. I need items for my new home. Can I host a housewarming party? I just moved into my first home, and I need a lot of household “stuff.” Can I host a housewarming? Should I register for gifts? There are various beliefs about when, why and how the housewarming began. The most universal is as an old Russian folk custom. When the emperor and empress would pay a visit to a village, merchants and gentry would present their honored guests with a round loaf of bread piled with salt, as signs of hospitality. The bread and salt represented the giver’s wish that the recipi-ent’s pantry always be “plenti-ful.” Another European tradition asks the guests to bring bread, salt, sugar and wine with these blessings: “Bread so that you shall never know hunger.” “Salt, so your life shall always have flavor.” “Sugar so your life shall always have sweetness.” “Wine, so you shall always celebrate God’s gifts in your life and in the life of your family.” I suggest that your hand-writ-ten invitations invite your friends to be part of the joyful experi-ence of having your first home – which still needs a “lot of household stuff.” Then include the gift registry information. conflict resolution S. Kendrick Dr. Gelasia Marquez is a psychologist and family counselor. 22 Eastern Oklahoma Catholic / July/August 2012 / www. dioceseoftulsa .org
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